“Family is not an important thing, it’s everything.” Michael J. Fox
I think Michael nailed it when he said this. Family truly is everything whether blood or bond. It should be at the top of the list above careers and self interest. Like many of you, I have the honor of having children, being a daughter, a wife, a sister and more. As I start to peek my thirties, however, I realize how incredibly special our families are. I understand why we should be quick to forgive, quick to slow down, quick to say I love you, quick to watch your kids play and listen to their lavished stories and so much more. There are many blessings to family that often get forgotten or overseen because of hurt feelings, miscommunication, and (a big one) assumption that leads to misdirected anger. People are so quick to get upset at each other and this should not be the norm in a family. Yes, sometimes bad things happen, but without communication you could miss out on all the joys of family; blood or bond.
I see, too often, families gossiping about each other, or siblings hating one another because something that happened to their parents and they both think the other is wrong… the list goes on. These families are filled with hate, unforgiveness, pity prayers, self-righteousness, envy, offense, you name it. But why give in to that? Why give in to unforgiveness that causes hate? Why let it rob you of that close family we all desire? Well, I say no to all of that! I say that we, as strong women, can stop it and we can help create a cultural change for our family’s future. It may not be an immediate change, and honestly it probably won’t. But remember that perseverance, patience, and love are your anchors here. Sure, I wish there were some way to just say “It’s okay, I forgive you,” and then simply move on! But, hello!, we know sometimes it’s just not that easy of a task. Here are a couple things that have helped my family enjoy each other even more. Let’s break the norm and create a better tomorrow for our children and their families by teaching them to forgive, believe the best, communicate not just assume, and most importantly love. Remember the big picture. This doesn’t only effect you, it effects our future and how they enjoy life by the way we lead.
Bond or Blood Family is everything.
- Believe the best
- Communicate – don’t assume
I don’t know about you but I love the book of Proverbs. It is so full of wisdom that has been tested by time (and given by God). Here is one proverb that I particularly like for forgiveness:
He who covers a transgression seeks love,
But he who repeats a matter separates friends.
“Repeats a matter”- now that is not talking about repeating the same mistake over and over again. That is talking about bringing up the past over and over again and not being able to forgive and move forward.
Unforgiveness only holds you back in life. It is bitter and there is nothing sweet about it. Reliving someone’s wrong over and over again just steals time from you. It’s not like it adds joy and worth to your life… does it? I’ve learned to be quick to forgive. Some people say that forgiveness isn’t really for the other person as much as it is for the forgiver. In many ways I believe that. Learn to value your future by learning to forgive and move forward to better times. We all make mistakes but the biggest of them all is to hold on and let it take your life from you. If you need help in this area, I encourage you to seek someone to help you overcome this. Look for help whether it is from a friend, counselor, mentor, or pastor. Also, make sure that they have your best interest in mind. There is nothing worse than surrounding yourself with bad or selfish counsel.
BELIEVE THE BEST
We’ve all heard the saying “believe the best” right? Well I’d like to challenge you, friend, to do just that.
“Think the best of each other, especially of those you say you love.
Assume the good and doubt the bad.”
~Jeffery R Holland
COMMUNICATE DON’T ASSUME
Like I stated earlier in this post, assumption is a big one. Unfortunately, most of us do this. We don’t like confrontation so we decide “what is what”. What’s worse is that “what is what” is usually ruled by our feelings so we really don’t get an accurate depiction of what went wrong.
Not all confrontation is negative. It’s almost like we have subconsciously said that confrontation is a bad thing therefore don’t do it. But in all reality, confrontation can be a great thing… when done with kindness and grace. In another post of mine called “Here You Are” I talk about people and the fact that we can’t ever expect someone to think the way we do. We just can’t. We don’t know what has built them in life. Was life kind to them or was it a horrible soar? But only you hold the power on this end of assumption. To assume or not to assume that is the question. I say communicate. Speak with love, kindness, grace and honesty. Get all the facts before you decide “what is what”. And then after all is said and done, communication will have her work. You may see that things didn’t go so wrong after all. Or, to the contrary, they may have. In the end, you always have forgiveness — a giver of life. You have the power to live in freedom and assumption does not need to hold you in her cell.
Love is patient and kind. Love is not jealous or boastful or proud or rude. It does not demand its own way. It is not irritable, and it keeps no record of being wronged. It does not rejoice about injustice but rejoices whenever the truth wins out. Love never gives up, never loses faith, is always hopeful, and endures through every circumstance.
This pretty much sums it up. And I’d like to add, in order to complete the first 3 steps you really must have love. Love helps us overcome so many things: it helps us redeem our time, and give us hope for the future. You can do this! You have what it takes to see the change through your family. We are women and we are strong!
Always with love. Let’s do this, let’s create a change for the better. After all…family is everything.