Don’t Hate The Process

I recently read on Facebook where a hair stylist was sharing about women who want to go from dark hair to blonde.  She was describing what she called a “process” and how people want to be blonde right away, yet it is not something that can really take place in one sitting.  And then she said, “Don’t hate the process, or the stylist in that case, on your way to becoming blonde.”  Because I am a brunette and yes, I too have tried to become blonde at one time, I understood exactly what she was talking about.  I was orange for a few weeks as my hair had to be continually worked with before it became the color I wanted.  Going from a brunette to blonde was not easy and needless to say, I am a brunette again.  But then I thought, that same advice can be applied to us on our journey to becoming anything in life.


Where we are right now in our life is, hopefully, not where we are wanting to be for the rest of our life.  Where we are right now is hopefully part of a process that we are going through to get to where we want to be.  I mean, don’t we all want to be better, healthier, smarter, stronger, etc.  The older we get the better we want to be.
I am in my 50’s now and I can see where I have learned a thing or two (ahem).  Some things I learned the easy way, usually by good choices, or listening to good advice.  And then there were the things I learned the hard way… and we don’t really need to get into that.  But through it all I have learned that life really is a process. Life is a daily opportunity to grow and learn or keep making the same bad choices and deal with those consequences.  It is completely up to us.

Here are a few tips to help you stay true to the process.


  1. Recognize there is a process.  It is ridiculous and counter-productive for us to think that we can go from where we are to where we want to be overnight.  Things take time. Just as the saying “Rome wasn’t built in a day” goes, the same is true for our dreams and goals, our desires for change and so forth.  We need to own the fact we didn’t get to where we are now overnight, so it won’t be an overnight transformation either.  Own the process. Give it time.
  1. Realize that your actions have rewards or consequences.  If you really want to get to the “new you” you must decide to make decisions based on where you want to be. In other words, make sure that your actions line up with your goals.  Only you can decide where you want to be in “x” amount of years.  You determine what your goals are and then decide the action steps to get there.  Sometimes it’s just a matter of changing one thing.  But the key is to be consistent and realize that what you put into something is what you will get out of it.  Stay committed!
  2. Make sure that you celebrate the little accomplishments along the way.  I think this is one of the hardest things that I have learned to do.  I find myself more of an all or nothing type personality, and so if I’m not all the way where I want to be, I tend to not celebrate the little victories.  And the funny thing is, I celebrate with others on their big or small accomplishments!  My husband helped me with this and I have seen great growth here.  And yes, every day we can celebrate good decisions and choices we have made. The choice is ours.


There are so many sayings out there about life.  Life is a bowl of cherries, a highway, a box of chocolates, etc.  I guess thinking that life is a process doesn’t sound as appealing, but I do believe that it’s an accurate depiction.  We all want to be better.  Let’s enjoy the process of going from here to there, from where we are to where we want to be, and let’s not quit.  Let’s make the most of every day and celebrate the victories, big and small, knowing the outcome will be a beautiful head of blonde hair or that slimmer body, or healthier mind, or that…
Remember, don’t hate the process.

With Love,

Donna DeBehnke





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