Little girls dream of fairytale love: the handsome prince, the perfect magical wedding. Little girls become grown women, many of which still dream of fairytale love: the perfect soul mate, the perfect relationship. We find ourselves continually seeking fulfillment in “falling” and “being in love.” We find ourselves feeling incomplete without that special person to keep our minds up in the clouds; a potentially dangerous addiction geared to keep us distracted from becoming the women we are called to be.
Being married myself, I can tell you there is vast importance in love and in marriage; a God-ordained institution with significant purposes that are the very foundation of society. I am in no way against the idea of love or being in love–on the contrary, I am all for it! Being in love is fun–marriage is fun! When you do it God’s way! I have an amazing husband who I have a blast sharing life with! Are we perfect? By no means! Do we just float around in the clouds of love all day long? No! We make it a point to be loving with each other; we have to work at it continually. Being in love can be amazing, but we need to view it in its proper context.
I was inspired to write this because I personally wasted many of my late teenage years “looking for love” and many years of my married life dealing with unrealistic expectations of “love.” So many of us have this idea that if I could just find the right guy (or if I had just married the right man), then life would be perfect. Please note: this is a lie! Hollywood does an amazing job at painting this beautiful (but deceitful) picture for us. Those in the media business do a substantial amount of research before conjuring up their scripts in order to optimize the number of viewers they can attract by selling you exactly what your flesh will react to and desire! In general, women are emotional and respond to the idea of love; men are visual and typically respond to sexual images. God wired us that way for a reason, and the media plays off of it accordingly for profit. Movies and television glamorize love and relationships to such an extent that we have lost touch with reality. There is no “perfect man.” There is no “perfect relationship.” There is only a perfect God that completes us regardless of our relationship status.
“Being in love,” if not reigned in, can cause you to make choices in a haze and on a whim. Without clarity, you may fail to see all the facts surrounding that particular person or that situation. It is always wise to acknowledge the fact that we tend to only focus on the good qualities in a person we are in love with and tend to overlook all of the negative ones. When all of your friends and family are warning you about that guy, it is wise to step outside yourself and listen. They might be saving you from heartache later down the road.
For all my single ladies, throw your hands down! You do not need a man to be complete! I’m sure by now you are thinking, “Well, that’s easy for you to say–you’re married!” Let me tell you that some of the loneliest women in the world are stuck inside a miserable marriage. A man will never completely satisfy you, no matter how great he is. Wholeness does not come from another man (or any other person); it only comes from a loving, Heavenly Father who loves you with the truest sense of the word. It is a God-kind of love; unconditional, never-failing, never-ending! Find your fulfillment in His love, and you will discover that His love is the only thing that you ever needed. Then when a man does come along, he will be a blessing, not a necessity, because you are already complete in Christ!
For my fellow married women, don’t give your husband the impossible task of continually keeping you happy and keeping you “in love” with him. Only God can fully satisfy you forever! I married young at 20 years old. I went into marriage expecting a fairytale and what I got was a dose of reality. We were two imperfect people struggling to keep each other happy and ended up making each other miserable in the process. We have since learned from the mistakes of our early marriage and have discovered an important truth we had to turn to: let God’s love complete you. Then, and only then, can each of you give 100% in the marriage. Don’t wait for him to meet you halfway; let the love that Christ has poured into you overflow onto your spouse. Seek God first. Pray for your husband and for your marriage. Read scriptures on marriage and love. You will experience the difference when you do it God’s way! Marriage then becomes enjoyable and creates an atmosphere where you can freely and completely be in love with the man you chose to spend the rest of your life with!
Regardless of where you are at in your “love life,” don’t let it define you. You are loved by the One who is the very definition of “Love.” You are called with a purpose. Don’t let past heartaches hold you back from moving forward in your life. Don’t get so caught up looking for love that you lose yourself. Pursue His amazing love–find yourself in Him and He will give you the desires of your heart.