I want to share a little something many might not know about me. I come from a rough part of New York City. The world around me was fast paced, loud and straight ghetto. My backyard was the street, full of sewer caps, and where the cars from off side parking made for the best hiding spots. Most days I ran around with my brother and cousins playing sports acting like a normal kid. But deep down inside I was dealing with some tough stuff; too tough for a young girl with so many questions. “Why do I feel abandoned?” “Was it because my parents struggle?” “Why am I being bullied?” “Why do my friends move away to better areas?” “How come others have it so much easier?”
All of these unanswered questions brought deep hurts and envy and caused me to carry it all through most of my teenage years and into early adulthood.
I realized I was too fixated on the damage I let set in rather than finding a healthy way out of it.
It consumed me, and I used this as an excuse when I struggled with things. It started to cripple me and subsequently affect my relationships. I grew bitter causing walls to build up where I felt I could not let anyone in. This was the power I felt I held in order to not get hurt again.
What If I told you if you don’t address the emotional hurt, anger or bitterness in your life the same will happen to you? What if I also told you it can all be overcome!
Memories of pain and hurt do not need to take dominance over your life. Emotional healing really is simple. So what do you need to do?
Let it go…
Let go of what caused the hurt.
Let go of the people involved.
And…forgive them. Coping isn’t a sign of weakness, rather it’s preparing you to be stronger in areas you once were weak. Learn to not take things personal. Realize because someone might have it “easier” it is likely they worked their tail off to receive the fruits of their labor. And I’ll say it again because I can’t say it enough: don’t take things too personal!
Once I started to realize my parents were suffering from their own emotional hurts and coped in the only way they knew how, it gave me a different perspective. I took it too personal for years. In time they healed, and so did I.
Emotional healing from losing a loved one as well isn’t easy. Especially if you felt like there wasn’t closure, or one last, ” I love you.” When my dad passed suddenly the pain I felt was unbearable. See, I was still holding on to so much from the past, that I hadn’t talked to my father for 2 years before he passed. Time went by. Precious time.
I felt guilty for a long time. I had family remind me of how I cut him off, which made it harder to heal.
But then I realized truly in my heart I loved my Dad, and he loved all his kids. He suffered throughout his life and didn’t cope well with emotional hurt. I realized I needed to break that pattern. If I move forward in my life then those around me wouldn’t suffer.
Bless my husband for his realness! I thought it was harshness at the time, but he kept it real. He would say, “Kim, get over it and move on. Stop giving those experiences power!”
So to wrap this up in a nutshell:
Forgive and set others free
Even if it takes time, keep in mind sometimes things aren’t instantaneous, realize your strength.
What is a result of emotional healing? Freedom from the bondage it held over you.
So tap into the power and gift from emotional healing and receive FREEDOM! It’s never too late!